Forest made a slow start...

Too much pressure, Pie.

What?

Too much pressure, Pie. Playing at home, big crowd, all that expectation ... pressure's too much, Pie. Like a boiler. On a train, for example.

Right. As I was saying, for whatever reason, Forest made a slow start, and were almost punished after three minutes when a James Bree free kick...

A Bree kick. Ha.

...narrowly evaded Lutonton's onrushing forwards and drifted narrowly wide. Not long afterwards, another Bree kick found Potts who shot narrowly over from close range. There seem to be a lot of narrowlys in this report but that reflects the fine lines between success and failure.

Dan "Flower" Potts. Fine lines. Like, for example, railway lines.

Lutonton were definitely in control...

Like the Fat Controller, Pie. Like in that kids' train thing.

...so it came as no surprise when some bloke with far too many names sent Potts through on the left, and Potts cut the ball back to Harry Cornick, who scored neatly past Samba.

Harry Connick Junior.

What?

That's who he sounds like, Pie. Harry Connick Junior. He's a singer. Interestingly, his dad worked on the Canadian Pacific Railway.

Are you going to stop talking drivel and let me finish this, Stress?

Of course, Pie. I didn't mean to derail you. Time to get back on track, eh?

Anyway, this setback seemed to spark Forest into life and a Joe Lolley corner almost produced an own goal, but goalkeeper Sluga kept it out.

Slugger. Ha.

And on thirty six minutes, a good ball from Ribeiro found Lolley, who cut in and fired a low shot under Slugger.

It squirmed under the keeper like an elk squirming under a Canadian Pacific Railway train, didn't it Pie?

No. After the break, Joe Lolley repeated the feat, cutting inside to shoot past Slugger, but this time with such power and swerve that the goalkeeper had no chance.

It went like a bullet, didn't it Pie? Like a bullet train. Like a train.

From then on, Lutonton found the going tough...

They floundered like Northern Rail commuters, didn't they Pie? What a shower, eh?

...and should have conceded a third when Joe Worrall failed to convert a Silva cross from five yards or so.

There used to be a Pacific Class steam engine called the Silver Cross, Pie. They say it crashed through Worksop station gates.

That's just complete rubbish, Stress, but I think I see what you're up to.

I don't know what you mean, Pie.

Lutonton's Collins broke through near the end, but his shot wasn't good enough to beat Brice Samba, and it was Grabban who settled the match with a a penalty after Silva's free kick had struck a hand in the defensive wall. The victory takes Forest back up to fifth, and "We're going up!" was the cry from the stands.

Come on you Reds, eh Pie? It's all a bit like ... ooh, I don't know ... like a train. A big red train, eh Pie?

No. It's nothing like a big red train. I've told you before, it's not coming back.

But it got us promoted Pie.

One promotion and half a dozen heartbreaking failures. No, it's not coming back.

But it's back already, Pie. Whether you like it or not, the Big Red Train is taking on a life of its own. Neither you nor I nor anybody can stop it now. Can't you see it, Pie? Can't you see it?

Wait a minute... I think I might... out there in the mist... well would you believe it... Nope, can't see a thing.

I loathe you, Pie, with a loathing so intense you could dissolve bones in it, if you wanted.

August 2019 promotion top dday