DENIAL (2)

Do you know, Pie, I was all for leaving at half time.

That doesn't surprise me at all, Stress. I too was inclined to call it a day. Or night, whichever you prefer.

Night. The first half, after all, was a nightmare.

You're surprisingly right, Stress. And, to be frank, nobody could have blamed us for leaving.

You're surprisingly right, Pie. That first half was like walking into a local insane butcher's shop where the butcher called Smith caught his wife canoodling with several customers so he hung them all from hooks and chopped them into saleable joints.

Yes, that's exactly what it was like, Stress.

Or it was like watching a pack of hounds run willy nilly into a Smith industrial macerator which they thought contained many foxes, but contained only liquid death.

Yes, that's equally exactly what it was like, Stress.

Or it was like several idiots fighting over a bag of Smith's crisps not realising that it contained a bottle of nitro glycerine which blew them all to red hell.

Yes, that's thirdly exactly what it was like, Stress. It's quite astonishing that we stayed after such a bloodbath.

Yes, Pie. But thank God we did, eh?

Well, I suppose the second half was better.

Better? Are you joking?

No, I'm not joking. How could I possibly be joking?

Did you actually see the second half, Pie?

What do you mean, you irritating fellow?

You're telling me that you watched the second half, yet somehow missed the greatest comeback in Forest's history?

What?

You missed Bostock's 40 yard screamer in the seventieth minute?

Er...

What a goal, eh Pie? But that was just the beginning. Carvalho's penalty flooded the ground with belief.

I think...

Then Bostock's equaliser, bouncing hard off the crossbar and in off the goalkeeper's arse.

Wait a minute....

And just when we're settling for a point, up pops Baby Walker to back heel the winning goal in the 97th minute. What scenes! What joy! A 4-3 win, after trailing 3-0 for so long. I don't think anybody could have imagined a finish like that.

Apart from you, Stress.

Well thank you, Pie, it's nice of you to say that.

No, I mean you imagined it. That second half never happened.

Are you calling me a liar, Pie?

No, I'm saying that your inability to cope with failure has rendered you brainless. Denial can be a corrosive bedfellow, Stress.

You might be right, Pie, were it not for this back page report in the Nottingham Buggle:

Think I'm lying now, Fat Man?

No, I just think you're sad, Stress. The Nottingham Buggle? Good grief.

I need help, Pie.

I think we all do, Stress. I think we all do.

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