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Good win. Safe as houses. Season awards up shortly...

STRESS AND PIE SEASON AWARDS 23/24

Player of the Last Match of the Season Award
goes to Chris Wood. We used to say Woody would only be any goody if he was somebody else, but we were wrong. Sharp as a pin he was against his old club Newcastle, and again today against his old club Burnley.

Player of the Season Award
goes to Eddie Nobody. A controversial choice, we understand that, but none of the contenders came close to matching the standard set by Eddie Nobody. MGW took most of the season to learn how to kick a dead ball properly, and Murillo was not a proper centre back because he jumped like a box. Eddie Nobody consistently displayed none of these faults.

Dud of the Season Award
goes to Ibrahim Sangare. We're still waiting for him to fulfil the "undoubted potential" he has. We suspect we may have a very long wait. He was fairly no good in the African Nations thing, and he's been fairly no good for us. Perhaps he's permanently injured. Or perhaps PSV sold us a pig in a poke. Anyway, if he can't be bothered, we won't bother putting an acute accent on the end of his name, so there.

Season of the Season Award
goes to not this one. It's come to something when a season is so bad it can't win its own award. We don't blame the season itself, it's just that this Premier League stuff stinks like a blocked drain.

Blocked Drain of the Season Award
goes to the Premier League, for so many reasons, but mainly because the Mancheater City hearing is still "imminent". After all, it must take quite a while to write down 115 indictments - enough time to win four titles at least.

Foulest Football Journalism of the Season Award
goes to the Daily Mail's Jason Mellor, who managed to turn the VAR decision to uphold Wood's second goal into a rather nasty little stick with which to beat Forest. "Those purveyors of the persecution complex," he said, ( that's us, by the way ) "have been the fiercest critics of football's beleaguered video officials this season, so perhaps Stockley Park saw the funny side of riding to the rescue of their navel-gazing nemesis ( that's us again ) in what, due to Luton's defeat, became a dead rubber." It's amazing, isn't it, how a spiteful agenda can replace truth with ignorance. It's also amazing the things you find in a dead rubber, but that's another story.

Best Fans of the Season Award
goes to Nottingham Forest away support. It's easy at the City Ground, but to go to a doghole like Turf Moor and sing yourself daft while being biffed by a blow up sex doll takes some doing.

Laughing Stock of the Season Award
goes jointly to Stuart Attwell, Paul Tilney, Howard Webb ... oh my God there are so many ... that bloke in charge of the Premier League, Gary Neville doubling up on his Gobshite of the Year award, Thomas Frank for looking weird but not as weird as Eric ten Hats' head, TalkSport, Jack Grealish and Ivan Toney for fraudulent behaviour, the Microsoft Paint lines used in VAR offside decisions, and many, many more. Including anybody who thinks the threat of moving from the City Ground is anything other than a bargaining ploy. Turnips.

Premature Ejaculation of the Season Award
goes jointly to all those internet drones who are already mouthing off about ins and outs, close season tours, new kits, finance, what changes need to be made, and even where Forest will finish next season. As Old Uncle Boff used to say, let's just bury the old man before choosing suitors for his widow, eh?

Best Interview of the Season Award
goes to Nuno Espirito Santo and Colin Fray, for this...


season 23/24 fixtures and results
01 12.08.23 The Grand Arse 2 Nottm Forest 1
02 18.08.23 Nottm Forest 2 The Undead 1
03 26.08.23 ManUre 3 Nottm Forest 2
04 02.09.23 Chelsea Dodgers 0 Nottm Forest 1
05 18.09.23 Nottm Forest 1 Shy Moor Folk 1
06 23.09.23 MCL 2 Nottm Forest 0
07 01.10.23 Nottm Forest 1 Brent Ford's XI 1
08 07.10.23 Palearse 0 Nottm Forest 0
09 21.10.23 Nottm Forest 2 Luton Beds 2
10 29.10.23 The Grand Poo 3 Nottm Forest 0
11 05.11.23 Nottm Forest 2 Villa Parkside 0
12 12.11.23 Wet Hams 3 Nottm Forest 2
13 25.11.23 Forest 2 Brighton Etc 3
14 02.12.23 Forest 0 Neverton 1
15 06.12.23 Cottage 5 Forest 0
16 09.12.23 Wonderbras 1 Forest 1
17 15.12.23 Forest 0 Tosspots 2
18 23.12.23 Forest 2 AFC Muffs 3
19 26.11.23 Spiffs 1 Forest 3
20 30.12.23 Forest 2 ManUre 1
21 20.01.24 Bentford 3 Forest 2
22 30.01.24 Forest 1 The Grand Arse 2
23 04.02.24 AFC Muffs 1 Forest 1
24 10.02.24 Forest 2 Spiffs 3
25 17.02.24 Forest 2 Wet Hams 0
26 24.02.24 Villa Parkside 4 Forest 2
27 02.03.24 Forest 0 The Grand Poo 1
28 10.03.24 Hove 1 Forest 0
29 16.03.24 Luton Beds 1 Forest 1
30 30.03.24 Forest 1 Palearse 1
31 02.04.24 Forest 3 Cottageboys 1
32 07.04.24 Tosspots 3 Forest 1
33 13.04.24 Forest 2 Wonderbras 2
34 21.04.24 Everton 2 Forest 0
35 28.04.24 Forest 0 ManCity Laundry 2
36 04.05.24 Undead 1 Forest 3
37 11.05.24 Forest 2 Dodgers 3
38 19.05.24 ShyMoorFolk 1 Forest 2




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