Twas windy, and the slimy turds did dive and tumble in the mire. All mardy were the Baggyfans, and the whole game dire.
Yes, like the misquoted rubbish above, this game was a bit of a nonsense. For much of the match, Forest were pressed out of any composure, attacking intent was muted, the atmosphere was occasionally grisly, and the Blood and Custards were once again saved by the superhuman reflexes of Brice Samba and Mighty Joe Worrall. The Bags were better than us in terms of movement and chances, but their finishing, or lack of it, smacked of desperation.
I don't think we should be too critical of Forest's performance. Games on Saturday - Tuesday - Friday is a hell of a schedule, the conditions were pretty foul, and the absence of Lowe and Colback have cocked up the team's dynamic good and proper. No surprise therefore that Forest were pushed deep as the Bags went in search of a much-needed goal. Diangana jinked to his left and drove in a skimming shot which, according to reports, picked up pace on the slick surface. It didn't, of course. It's physically impossible for a ball to speed up in those circumstances. The ball slowing down less than might be expected gives the illusion of increased speed, but that's all it is - an illusion. Except when it comes off any part of Brice Samba, but that's because he's made of iron.
After half an hour, Furlong was presented with an opportunity in front of goal. This was Darnell Furlong, the son of ex-Chelsea favourite Paul Furlong who is now the academy coach at Queens Park Ladies, all of which dwindled into irrelevance as the Darnell in question chumped it hopelessly over the bar. Chumped is a composite of chipped and thumped, and is a real word.
Forest improved in the second half and actually managed a shot - a deflected Johnson effort which didn't really trouble the Bags goalkeeper. The oddly named Molumby did not take kindly to the increased pressure and ended up up-ending Joe Lolley. Second yellow - red card - off. The extra freedom gave Forest the opportunity to do what Forest do - come on strong and spirited towards the end, because they believed they could win it.
Imagine the horror when Hugill the Bag found himself in prime shooting position in front of the Forest goal. Oh no... to weather the storm, come through strong and even threaten a win - then throw it away by over-committing and leaving holes at the back ...
...Luckily it was Hugill, who, after flattering to deceive at Preston Nob End, went on to fail at Wet Hams, Miserablebugger and Norridge. Now here he was at the Bags, failing again as he shanked his left foot shot harmlessly over somewhere or other.
A minute later Mighty Joe Worrall, the man of this and many other matches, provided an almost perfect cross for Grabban, but the striker couldn't quite reach it despite his best efforts.
Steve Cooper was again disappointed, but this is a good thing, because he has set his standards almost impossibly high. "The first half wasn't a version of the side we want to be," he said. "I thought we upped it a little bit in the second half and were a better team. I thought the ball was played in their half more than ours, which is where we want to be and then I think we could just be a little bit more creative and threatening. That's another example of the fact we've got to make the next step."
Or get some better players. And that's no nonsense neither.