STUFF
GAME 42: APRIL 13 2019
FOREST 1 BLACKBUm 2

THE BOFFINGTON POST

"I MAY HAVE GONE MAD" ADMITS FOREST BOSS

After a third consecutive defeat, this time at the hands of Blackbum Rovers, Forest manager Martin O'Neill admitted that he may have gone mad, but was all right now. His admission came after he was questioned about a baffling series of events which saw a left back playing at centre back, a defensive midfielder playing at left back, the left back moved forward to play in midfield to be replaced by a midfielder at left back, and a creative midfielder brought on to link up with a striker who wasn't there any more.

"It was an experiment," said the Forest boss. "I've been experimenting with recreational drugs, and I may have gone mad. Strange things happen in football, don't they? I'm all right now, though."

To be fair, there were occasions when Forest's play suggested an accidental degree of understanding and organisation, but overall they performed with the random determination of rats in a box.

This is what happened. Molly Vague kicked the ball, but it went over the bar. Blackbum's Bradley "Road Kill" Dack kicked the ball, but Pantilimon saved it. Lolley kicked the ball, but Raya saved it. Pele ran a long way and kicked the ball over the bar. Dack kicked the ball wide. Rothwell kicked the ball and it went into the goal, after Pantilimon was surprised out of a day dream which involved nakedly swimmin' with one-legged women. The crowd groaned.

Forest immediately stormed back as Cash took aim from inside the penalty area and missed by about a week, the same week it took for Grabban to make up his mind before another goal chance went begging. Yates kicked the ball, but it was blocked. Appiah kicked the ball, but it went wide. The first half ended after Cash crossed brilliantly to nobody in particular.

In the second half, Blackbum went close before going even closer and scoring. The crowd groaned again. The mood of incipient murder was partially alleviated moments later when somebody, nobody is sure who, scored for Forest. This made the game interesting for as long as it took to realise that it wasn't interesting at all. Cash missed a sitter, Dack hit the woodwork after a good save from Pantilimon, Lolley's cross couldn't be converted by Murphy, Murphy's header was blocked, Lolley hit the side netting, then shot over the bar. There were boos at the end.

Forest manager Martin O'Neill said "We had glorious chances today and spumed them all," later admitting that "spumed" was a misprint for "spurned", and "all" should have been "all but one". "The game should have been out of reach," he continued. "They were really good chances, but we spumed the lot of them."

O'Neill went on to explain that everybody would get a chance to show what they could do except for certain individuals whom he had taken against for no reason at all, that they would now get ready for next season, and that things would get better when the goblins left the Palace of Eternal Light. He was then helped away to take a phone call from some Greek bloke.


OTHER STUFF
SEASON 2018/2019

01 04.08.18 BRISTOLS 1 FOREST 1
02 07.08.18 FOREST 1 WASTEBAGGERS 1
03 11.08.18 FOREST 1 READING LADIES 0
04 18.08.18 WIGAN CARPARK 2 FOREST 2
05 25.08.18 FOREST 2 BOREMINGHAM 2
06 01.09.18 BENTFORWARD 2 FOREST 1
07 15.09.18 ABERTAWE 0 FOREST 0
08 19.09.18 FOREST 2 WENDIES 1
09 22.09.18 FOREST 1 ROTHERINGHAM 0
10 29.09.18 BLACKBUm 2 FOREST 2
11 03.10.18 FOREST 2 MEWO 2
12 06.10.18 MISERABLEBUGGER 0 FOREST 2
13 20.10.18 FOREST 1 NORRIDGE 2
14 24.10.18 BOLN 0 FOREST 3
15 27.10.18 LEED 1 FOREST 1
16 03.11.18 FOREST 1 UNDEAD 0
17 10.11.18 FOREST 0 STOKES 0
18 24.11.18 UL 0 FOREST 2
19 28.11.18 VANILLA 5 FOREST 5
20 01.12.18 FOREST 2 DIPSWITCH 0
21 08.12.18 FOREST 0 NOB END 1
22 17.12.18 SHEEP 0 FOREST 0
23 22.12.18 FOREST 0 Q.P. LADIES 1
24 26.12.18 NORRIDGE 3 FOREST 3
25 29.12.18 MEWO 1 FOREST 0
26 01.01.19 FOREST 4 LEED 2
11.01.19 KARANKA GONE
27 12.01.19 READING LADIES 2 FOREST 0
15.01.19 O'NEILL IN
28 19.01.19 FOREST 0 BRISTOLS 1
29 26.01.19 FOREST 3 WIGAN CAR PARK 1
30 02.02.19 BOREMINGHAM 2 FOREST 0
31 09.02.19 FOREST 2 BENTFORWARD 1
32 12.02.19 WASTEBAGGERS 2 FOREST 2
33 16.02.19 NOB END 0 FOREST 0
34 25.02.19 FOREST 1 SHEEP 0
35 02.03.19 STOKES 2 FOREST 0
36 09.03.19 FOREST 3 UL 0
37 13.03.19 FOREST 1 VANILLA 3
38 16.03.19 DIPSWITCH 1 FOREST 1
39 30.03.19 FOREST 2 ABERTAWE 1
40 06.04.19 ROTHERINGHAM 2 FOREST 1
41 09.04.19 WENDIES 3 FOREST 0
42 13.04.19 FOREST 1 BLACKBUm 2

LINKS AND STUFF
Contact Us
S&P Reports 2018/19
LTLF Forums
CGFaithful Forum
Talkback Trentend Forums
Peter Beetlestone Twitter
.
.
.

Into The Forest
Forest 2 Wendies 1: Time to fly.
Crazy: Villa 5 Forest 5
stop







Tomorrow, and tomorrow, and tomorrow, creeps in this petty pace from day to day, to the last syllable of recorded time; and all our yesterdays have lighted fools the way to dusty death. Out, out, brief candle! Life's but a walking shadow, a poor player that struts and frets his hour upon the stage and then is heard no more. It is a tale told by an idiot, full of sound and fury signifying nothing.