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Still housekeeping. The 24/25 reports and results will stay in the match report archive until the start of next season.
The World Club Foot is a soccer competition in which mysteriously selected clubs play each other for vast sums of oil money. This year the tournament is being held in the USA, which seemed a good idea at the time.
⊙   Botafogo 2 - 1 Seattle Sleepers
⊙   Chelsea 2 - 0 Los Angeles
Chelsea made heavy weather of this match, partly because LA made nothing of their many opportunities, but mostly because Chelsea are a bunch of nasty, swaggering, referee-baiting thugs with terrible hair.
Surprisingly, Igor Jesus found his way into this match too, playing as a midfielder who was described as "combatative" by the jibbering idiot of a commentator.
⊙   Boca Juniors 2 - 2 Benfica
⊙   Al Ahly 0 - 0 Inter Miasma
⊙   Auckland City 0 - 10 Bayern Munich
⊙   PSG 4 - 0 Atletico Madrid
⊙   Palmeiras 0 - 0 Porto |
I don't believe any of it, Pie.
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What's that then, Stress?
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All this stuff, you know.
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No I don't know. What stuff?
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All this stuff about Mister Markymarks buying Bogota, for instance. It's all gone quiet about that, hasn't it? I looked it up, Pie. Apparently, Bogota is the capital of Columbo. It doesn't make sense, does it?
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Only to a psychiatrist.
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What's that?
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Nothing. What else don't you believe, Stress?
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I don't believe Morgan Gibbs-White will desert us. Nor Elanga.
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Who's Nora Langer?
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That's not funny, Pie.
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Sorry Stress. So you think Langer will linger longer, do you?
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That's not funny either. Why can't you take anything seriously?
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I'm sorry, Stress, but if you start worrying about all this internet garbage it'll drive you into an early grave.
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Then there's all this stuff about Mister Markymarks threatening to blow up UEFA. What's all that about, Pie?
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Well, as I see it, Stress, it's all part of a global conspiracy driven by Canadian drug overlords and Vatican podcasters to undermine the foundations of democracy by fomenting discontent among the Forest faithful.
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Really Pie? I don't understand any of that, therefore it must be true.
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You're a smart fella, Stress. A smart fella.
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