WORLD CUP STUFF

Group E - Curacao 0 Ivory Coast 2 Best in-match comment yet: "...that pass from Sangare was beautiful..." Bye bye Bluebottles, it's been fun. Group E - Ecuador 2 Germany 1 Equator edged into the next round by beating a German side weakened by the absence of players like Lahm, Muller and Beckenbauer. I used to think goalkeeper Neuer's stare was born of arrogant disdain, but now I realise he's just a bit vacant upstairs. Group F - Japan 1 Sweden 1 Antony Elanga saved Potter's job life by scoring a stunning second half goal to level the score and send Sweden through to the next round. He's wasted at Newcastle, isn't he? Group F - Tunisia 1 Netherlands 3 At the end of the match, Tunisia faded into the haze like Lawrence of Arabia disappearing into the shimmering desert. Yes I know it was Omar Sharif doing the opposite but that was a Hollywood film which by definition ignores reality. It probably wasn't Tunisia anyway. Group D - Paraquat 0 Australia 0 You've won the competition, only to be told that your prize is a ticket to watch Paraquat v Australia. Do you (a) ask for the cash instead, (b) watch the match till half time, then kill yourself, or, (c) just kill yourself. Group D - Turkey-yay 3 USA 0 Turkey-yay left the tournament content in the knowledge that they beat the co-hosts, even though the co-hosts, judging by their goal celebrations, behaved like PCP-raddled idiots.