WORLD CUP STUFF

Round of 32 - Canada 1 South Africa 0 Half way through the second half, the commentator said "This game needs a spark," and I thought to myself, "Not so much a spark as an electro-magnetic pulse!" because that's the kind of witty guy I am. Anyway, the pulse came in the ninety oddth minute when some bloke who looked like an extra from "Murder She Wrote" smashed in the winner, to the relief of everybody on earth. As Shakespeare put it: The quality of football was not great. It droppeth like a mental pain from bedlam Upon the pitch beneath. It was twice crap: Infecting him that won and him that lost.