STUFF

FOREST THRASHED IN PORTUGAL
Glasner "not a happy rabbit" as Forest ship 4 goals against Sporting CP
by Hugh Moran, Chief Sports Correspondent

Nottingham Forest's pre-season was thrown into disarray as they were soundly beaten by Sporting Clube de Portugal in the Estadio Algarve last night.The first half ended with a promising 1 - 1 scoreline, but a disastrous second half saw Sporting put 3 unanswered goals past a visibly tiring Forest side.

Forest head coach Oliver Glasner, who bears a remarkable resemblance to Odo the shape-shifting security officer on Deep Space Nine, was scathing in his post-match comments. "I am not a happy rabbit at this time," he said. "I came to this club on the promise of unlimited resources, and yet you see what I have to work with out there. The only addition to the squad so far is one I had to fetch myself for nothing." Asked whether his frustration was understood by owner Evangelos Marinakis, a clearly angry Glasner replied, "We have not talked since I was appointed."

Forest fan Geoffrey Spunt, who was at the match, said, "I've been a fan of this club for nigh on six months, and I'm pissed. I mean really pissed. I may have been pissed for nigh on six months. Too many lagers, you see. I didn't see much of the match, being completely pissed. I'm not a sober person. Ask my mates."

Forest's next pre-season encounter is another heavy defeat to Udinese in some weird half-arsed competition to be transmitted live on Jubilee Betting TV in India or somewhere.